#11: ” Why, it’s the drunk piano player. You’re so drunk, you can’t hit nothin’. In fact, you’re probably seeing double.” “I have two guns. One for each of ya.”


#11: Tombstone — dir. George P. Cosmatos / The Raid: Redemption — dir. Gareth Evans

Alright.  This one’s a total cheat, and I will cop to that.  I remembered late several films, and frankly, there was no way to straighten the rug to make them all fit.  And both of these films deserve to be on the list, but for different reasons. So they both stand just south of the top ten.

The Raid first.  It has changed action movies forever.  The Indonesia martial arts they use make Seagal’s aikido look like Seagal today, like Jeff Speakman, like Chuck Norris doing his boot stomps.  It’s like lightning in a bottle.  And if it were just a martial arts movie, that might be one thing. But The Raid starts out as an exception gun battle movie, where the police and drug dealers gun each other down until they run out of bullets.  And then they bring out the machetes.  And then they just pummel each other with fists.  The camera itself is a special effect, falling through floors, leaping across balconies.  It’s an epic feat. And that final three way fight — welcome to your future, the world.  Evans recreated the magic in The Raid 2.  The plot wasn’t as good, but the action was even more epic.  And that will change the world.

Tombstone now.  It’s just the last of the balls to the wall full on steak faced action flicks.  It really and truly is.  And while everyone else is a badass, it’s Kilmer.  KILMER.  His Doc Holliday is my favorite fucking superhero.  If they ever make a Deadpool movie, I want him to be Doc Holliday.  I want to be my huckleberry.  He’s so salty.  He’s a snarky bastard.  He’s amazing.


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