CBR #22 – Death Chicken Died On The Way Back To His Home Planet

Soul of the Fire by Terry Goodkind

This was the book that seemed to break most folks off the series.  And I can totally fucking see why.  It spends the first quarter of the book at the Mud People’s village where the devious chimes unleashed by Kahlan takes the form of a “chicken-who-is-not-a-chicken.”  A demon spirit in the body of a chicken tries to kill everyone.  Then they dunderfuck their way out of it.  Magic is disappearing now, at least the Additive Magic — so all the good guys have lost their magics — thanks to the chimes.  So Zedd sends Richard on a wild goose chase, which he completely figures out in the next chapter, while Ann and he sneak off to…you know I have no fucking idea what they planned and neither did they.

Then, we go to Anderith, a city where the Hakens are enslaved and guilt tripped by the noble Anders.  We are introduced to an entire vast cavalcade of characters, among the various classes and leaderships.  There’s a whole lot of rape — because Terry Goodkind can’t go four chapters without someone getting raped or propositioned or busting out crying.  The ridiculous part of the whole adventure is that while you spend all this time learning all of the new characters’ names and shit, it doesn’t fucking matter.  They’re all dead by the end.  Four of the major characters are apparently infected with super syphilis in a grand scheme of pointless vengeance?  It’s literally a stupider ending that lifting Poochie’s animation cel into the air and telling people he died on the way back to his home planet.

At the end of the book, the entire village is pretty much wiped right the fuck out, their super weapon is gone, and I guess the Imperial Order is going to rape and enslave them.  If it was a checkboard, someone would have put a cigarette out on the space.  It’s just stupid.  Even Richard is pretty much like — I quit.  I’m done with this.  I guess Ann and Zedd are going to catch up — their somewhere near the larger group.  But Richard isn’t sure where to go.  Faith of the Fallen is the next one.  I have no fucking idea what that has to do.  Soul of the Fire really didn’t have fuck-all to do with this book.  I guess maybe one of the Captain Planet powers of the chimes was the fire.  A bunch of people burst into flames.  Witches are set on fire?  Oh, who the fuck cares anymore.


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