#3: “Just remember what ol’ Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol’ storm right square in the eye and he says, ‘Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it.'”


#3: Big Trouble in Little China — dir. John Carpenter

Carpenter’s horror stuff is phenomenal.  I mean, Halloween and The Thing.  C’mon.  Amazing.

But this film, man.  This damn movie.  Cool villain.  Neat action.  But seriously.

Jack Burton.

You can take your Ash.  You can take your Eastwoods, and your John Waynes.  You can take your Schwarzeneggers, and your Stallones, and your Stathams.  You can even take John McClane.

Jack fucking Burton.

Pretty much everything out of his mouth is quotable.  And yet, he’s a ridiculous hero.  He’s a buffoon.  He’s an idiot.  And he swaggers like he’s the king shit.  It’s hilarious.  He’s so stupid.  He fucks up most of the film thinking he’s the hero.  And he ends up winning.  And still has the idiocy to sit there and act like he knew he’d win all along.  Goddamn.

I can watch this movie on repeat for an entire day like it was Christmas Eve and it was A Christmas Story.  It’s my feel good flick.  It’s so stupidly stupid good.  There are people who watch it, I’m sure, and probably just think it’s bullshit.  But this is basically Army of Darkness with a more concrete story, even when it gets way over the top, and there are Chinese gods flying around shooting light and lightning.

May the wings of liberty never lose a feather, motherfucker.


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